Don't you send me to vm
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
