How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
