i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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