i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
