i'm signing you up for texting rehab
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
