then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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