I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
