ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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