I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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