How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize