oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
