You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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