Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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