Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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