Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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