You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
