he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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