Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
