just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
NoShamevember. You game?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
