sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
