walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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