Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
