I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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