She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
handjob tips. give me some.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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