Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
