I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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