he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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