So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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