PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
