Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Got a toothbrush?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
