If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
