I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
