I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
