Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The Olympian is in my bed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
