tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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