I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
