I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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