when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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