dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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