I cannot find my penis.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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