its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ladies don't puke and tell
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
