You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
