big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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