Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
