you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
