she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
