Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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