i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
