So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
