Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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