you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
