Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize