also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
