lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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