he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
