We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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