doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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