wanna go halves on a baby?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
