I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
