so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Small penises have feelings too.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
