dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
