we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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