Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
