yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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