my sisters under your porch take her home
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My vagina just recognized that song.
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I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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