just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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