But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
