Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
